This was originally written for /r/WritingPrompts: “[EU] The Jedi thought it to be an ancient artifact. Out of the blue, the chevrons light up, followed by a mighty kawoosh. SG1 have arrived.”.
As I wrote this, I realized very quickly that doing the concept justice would require writing an entire book, and I simply didn’t have enough encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars to do the concept justice. So, better to leave it as one part and end on a high note.
Part 1
The artifact shimmered and rippled like water as I ran up to it, and I got the sudden, disconcerting sensation that I was looking down onto an ocean instead of across at a…at a what? I had no idea. It vaguely resembled the tunnel space between stars which ships with hyperdrive create, but the artifact hadn’t moved. Then I noticed the huge gap in the shelving which I was fairly certain hadn’t been there a moment earlier. And the gigantic chunk just…gone from the Mandalorian mural sitting on the shelf. I should have been terrified (both to the Council’s reaction to their artifacts being ruined, and of Master Mundi’s reaction to me sleeping on watch and failing to prevent it), but I hadn’t even had time yet to be scared of those things. I was too busy being scared of more inanimate objects in this place coming to life. And of the artifact which already had.
I circled around at what I thought would be a safe distance to try to see how it worked. The thing looked like solid stone, not at all like any kind of engine I knew. As I walked behind it, I suddenly heard footsteps, and talk, coming from the other side of the portal. I peered around and saw four human-looking creatures standing where I’d been a moment ago. I didn’t want to come to the obvious conclusion…but their speech made it only more obvious.
The being who spoke looked like one of the Council speaking to an ordinary Jedi; perhaps he was in charge. “Carter, this gate hasn’t been used in centuries. Whoever these people are, they have no idea what this is. Are you sure this is where Anubis is coming?”.
Gate? So this was like an anti-hyperdrive? It brings space to itself instead of vice versa?
And Anubis?
The female in the group responded. “No, sir. But this is where he will come if he found the same inscription Daniel found, and we have to assume that he will.”
The man I assumed to be the leader spoke again. “Carter, we’re in a bit of a hurry. If these people knew about the Eye or had a fleet, or could use the Stargate, we could talk to them. But even if the inscription isn’t two thousand years out of date, how are we going to find something that’s probably listed under ‘miscellaneous junk’ in some cabinet somewhere halfway around the globe?”
A somewhat shorter man, wearing two circles of glass around his face, answered him. “Jack, this is a museum, built to house artifacts from what’s obviously a wide variety of cultures. For all we know, the Eye of Nirrti isn’t just on this planet but in this very warehouse.”
The leader looked around, as if dismayed at the prospect of searching around. “Ok. Carter, you’re with me. Teal’c, you’re with Daniel.”
The fourth man, who resembled Master Windu, spoke for the first time. “Perhaps we should first ask the guardian of this facility for his aid.”
And then he turned and looked directly at me.
Ulp.
After a few moments, the leader broke the silence. “Wow. You have one impressive forehead. Teal’c, buddy, you’re gonna have to up your game.”
If the dark-skinned one had any reaction, it was only in the upwards motion of a single eyebrow. I ignored the remark. “Who are you? How did you get here?”
The one wearing glass on his face took a conciliatory tone, placing emphases on certain words as if explaining something to a child. “I know you haven’t used this in a very long time…we’re not from around here. We represent a people called the Tau’ri, from a place called Earth. This portal that we came from is a old, very old device called a Stargate, built by Ancients millions of years ago. There’s a very bad man – well, half Goa’uld and half ascended being – called Anubis, who we think might be on his way here to acquire another artifact you have, which he can use to power a weapon that can devastate the surface of a planet.”
Did these people think we were illiterate Outer Rim savages barely capable of getting into orbit? “We can defend ourselves - the Republic fleet will be more than a match for Anubis, whoever he is.”
Their leader sighed. “Then I don’t suppose you’d mind giving us the Eye, as a little souvenir before we head home?”
“I’m just a guard. I’ll need to take you to Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. He will know who you need to talk to. And if those are weapons, you’ll need to put them aside.”
Their leader looked impatient, but upon being nudged by – “Daniel”, was it? – shook his head and stepped towards me. “We don’t mean any harm, but we need to hold on to these for now, just in case. Just as you do, with your lightsaber-looking thing.”
I felt anger and wounded pride swell in me for a moment, before focusing and cancelling it out. Did this man think I was an imposter? Some holo actor, playing at being a knight? I might be an apprentice, but I was still a Jedi. Without a word, I drew my lightsaber, flicked it on, and stepped into guard.
I didn’t forsee their reaction. I’ve traveled an awful lot during the course of this war. I’ve seen worlds that had never seen a Jedi, filled with people who stared at my lightsaber with awe and fascination. I’ve seen people with only ancient legends of the Sith to go on, who cowered in fear. I’ve seen many citizens of the Republic who looked at it as a symbol of hope. I’ve seen enemies of the Republic look at it as a worthy challenge. But these four? They merely gawked, as if they’d seen a nerf suddenly stand up on its hind legs.
Their leader pointed at me. “Carter, mind telling me how that’s possible?”
“If I had to guess, sir, I’d say that it’s a tube of magnetically contained plasma, which-“
“No, Carter. Mind telling me how that’s possible?”
“…the similarities are striking, Colonel.” She suddenly brightened. “Wormhole X-treme, sir! There must have been something similar with George Lucas!”
The darker one – Teal’c – nodded, as if that explained everything. He looked at me and asked simply “Are you a Jedi?”
“I am.”, I replied.
“Ok, this changes things”, said their leader, “Colonel”. “We need to go to your leadership right away. As far up as we can go.”
I felt like I did during training, when I could balance two rocks or could deflect two laser blasts, and more and more kept being added on until finally the Force flowing through me was too much, and I crumpled. I was in utterly unfamiliar territory, and I couldn’t process these people or understand what was happening. Numbly, I said “I can take you to Master Ki-Adi Mundi. He can present you to the Jedi Council, who can in turn can introduce you to Chancellor Palpatine, who–”
“Wait. Did you say Chancellor Palpatine?”
“Well…yes. The election was years ago. Even the furthest points on the Outer Rim should have heard about it by now.”
Colonel turned to his companions. “Oh, for crying out loud. Prequels! We landed in the middle of the prequels!”
To be continued…